I Was Just Drunk

People say things like, “A drunken mind speaks a sober heart.”

But how do they know it’s not just the opposite? Maybe a drunken mind speaks the cruelest of lies. How many “I love yous” have been said this way? How many promises came to be broken this way?

How many people wake up at 1 a.m remembering sad stories of things that have faded away.

A drunk person told me once, “My siblings died. You have no idea what I’ve been through in this life.” It turned out to be words carefully chosen to pull on my heart strings. To make me feel bad enough to drop my guard. To trust that this person was suffering in silent pain. It was just a lie to make me seem insignificant.

A few drunk people told me once, “I hate my mom.” But their moms had done everything for them. Warm dinner every night. Support like no other. They were there for the tears. They were there when fathers weren’t around. They stayed strong and abandon their dreams for their children. These people don’t really hate their moms. They loved their moms more than anything in the world.

What causes lies. Why do we feel such a need to tell them. Maybe it’s just to feel connected when we feel all alone.

A drunk person told me once, “Had only we met sooner.”  But these are drunken words said out of loneliness and the need for someone to hold. A lie told in pain and confusion. Promises of “friends forever” and “anytime you need me”.

A heart can be just as drunk as a mind can.

So anytime I’m honest with you, don’t worry, I was just drunk.

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