Dear Stranger,

To practice Japanese, I started writing pretend letters. But for what I’m feeling today I couldn’t even begin to express in Japanese, so I’ll leave it here.

Dear Stranger,

There are so many things no one can know. And so many things I don’t understand.

But in reality, I believe falling in love with people you can never be with is the most beneficial love. Aren’t I known for thinking backwards?

We’re told everyone has a perfect match in this world. A soul mate or whatever. And we all grow up thinking this way. “When will my perfect person come along?” Some people actually strive for that so much they forget about everything else. They go blindly to anyone who calls them in hopes that this is the one. Often times they end up used and never create any real goals for themselves. I’ve watched many people become broken this way.

Or say you do find someone you believe is your perfect match. Someone that you think you could spend this so called life with in peace and go about your routine with out a struggle. Marriage, house, kids. You do what we’re raised to do. To me, this is a stale life. I honestly believe people can be happy this way of course. But to watch from the outside, or even to reflect on yourself when you’ve gotten out of a long relationship, you see everything that was once important fades away. Your dreams aren’t so important, improving yourself isn’t so important, all because you found someone to be comfortable with. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable, but in my opinion, it’s a bit of waste for a life. And I have been there.

I like to understand things. At least try. I feel like everything has some hidden meaning, even if it actually doesn’t. So let’s pretend we’re reading a script from a romantic comedy. The girl just gets left by the guy and she’s left wondering, “why do I always fall for the wrong guy?!”

I think it’s a little obvious. Just like our friendships, the people we choose to care about in a romantic way are people who will eventually shape something about ourselves. I think maybe the only reason we fall for a person is because we see in them the things that we wish we could see in ourselves. The way a person lights up a room. The way they don’t seem to care about anything. The way they can make your “flaws” sound like art.

We admire in others the things we don’t see in ourselves and we like the way that others can make us feel when we can’t seem to do it for ourselves. In general I think that’s why humans have such a hard time being alone. I don’t think you ever really fall for the wrong person.

I think people stay together for the wrong reasons. I think people try to date others they aren’t really compatible with. I think people make life long commitments with out really understanding what that means.

But falling for someone. I don’t think that’s ever wrong. A human heart and mind are really fragile things if you knock down the walls that we all seem to build around ourselves. I think that, in whatever love is supposed to be, there isn’t a wrong or right. Simply, you just need to realise each situation for what it is, take what you need, and grow.

I think that if you aren’t growing, you aren’t really living at all. Whether you fall in love with endless amounts of people or you fall in love with only a select few, each one is important and never a mistake. Which is the only reason that love hurts so much. We learn our most valuable lessons when it hurts.

But as my favourite childhood movie states, “Yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.”


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