I Need To Remind Myself.

I’m the annoying person that always says, “it could be worse”. I know to every individual, their problems are their worst. But I have always been an observer. I have always been able to put myself in another’s shoes to learn from them and feel their pain.

As I’m struggling right now, I have to remind myself it could be worse. Like most college students in America, I am struggling financially. Because of summer classes I have not been able to find work that will work with my schedule. It’s been very rough emotionally for me because I hate asking anyone for help. But I have to remind myself, only a few years ago I was living off of $20 per month for groceries. All I could eat was a granola bar and a cheese egg sandwich. (With super cheap not real cheese.)

I may reach that point soon… But for now, I’m not there yet.

Emotionally I keep wondering.. am I strong enough to go to Japan? With my anxiety lately telling me I can’t amount to anything… It’s hard to think I’m deserving. My anxiety keeps trying to find doubt in everything revolving Japan.

But I need to realise how far I have come… I never thought I’d go to Japan. And here I am, practically three short months away from starting my journey. I need to keep strong.

Anxiety really makes following your dreams tough. Nearly every day is filled with doubt. That voice telling you, you aren’t good enough. You’re going to fail. Despite the typical negative feelings I face almost every day, I think I was able to make one hell of a year for myself and I’ve learned so much.

I need to keep reminding myself that anxiety is only a piece of who I am. Anxiety is not me.

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4 thoughts on “I Need To Remind Myself.

  1. I can relate. I’m the annoying person who always says, “worse things have happened to better people.” Overcoming anxiety is rough. What you’re doing is impressive.

  2. i have been pretty good at seeing the negative/bad aspects of “life”.
    the only way to know about japan or about anything is to do it. do not let fear hold you back, but let it help in leading you to knowledge.

  3. I spent a year in Japan and remembered the feeling when the plane lifted off… All I could think of was “what did I get myself into?!” But the experience was amazing. There will be ups and downs living in a foreign land. Just accept that going into it. It will be a time of growth. Explore, eat foods you cannot pronounce, soak in the culture and enjoy! Have a wonderful trip!

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