Currently I should be working on a ten page research paper over Minamata Disease, but it’s the final stretch of the semester and procrastination is at it’s finest.
Recently my best friend’s wife had the most adorable twin boys I’ve laid eyes on, and it got me thinking… I’ve been watching my friends pop out little squishy humans since before we even graduated high school. As cute as they are and as happy as I am for these friends, there is still a part of me that just thinks; hell no.
I remember being a small child thinking I would grow up, get married (to a man who would not only take care of our twins, but do anything I asked for in general), and pop out the two squishies I just mentioned. However, my ideas couldn’t be more different now.
Often times you hear people scoff at what I’m about to say. I don’t want to get married or have children. People always say, “Oh, one day you’ll change your mind.” Firstly, if any dude gets me to say yes to the question, it’s a miracle in itself, let alone convincing me a child is a fine and dandy idea.
I think we’ve all been in the situation where we are forced to watch awkwardly while someone else talks to their child in a way we find unfavourable. We think, “Ugh. Who let them have children?” Yet, when people like myself say I don’t want kids, we are often told we are just selfish or we’ll change our mind some day.
Don’t get me wrong, if by accident a little squishy made root in my womb I would own up to it and do the best damn job I could do, but people have their reasons for wanting to stay far away from parenthood, and it’s fine.
Some of us just think pregnancy is gross. Some women can look at another woman’s swollen belly and think it’s the most adorable thing in the world. Maybe it is! But when we think of pregnancy all we can think of is scenes from a horror movie. There is this little bug in there, growing away. Sometimes you can see it’s little feet imprints, and that’s just messed up. Your body blows up inside and out in more ways than I care to think about. Yes, it’s awesome the female body can create life and all this other miracle body talk, but the way I see it… If I’m more freaked out about what my body is going to do to me, maybe I shouldn’t have kids.
Some of us remember all too clearly the hardships of childhood. We all say we don’t want to make the same mistakes our parents made. I think 9 times out of 10, everyone makes the same mistakes their parents did in one way or another. This is a human being you have in your hands. It’s going to grow and you’re going to try to force it to grow in the way you see fit. This human is going to feel attacked by you. This human is going to have days that it hates you. Never in my whole life do I want to make any human feel from me the things I felt from those closest to me.
Some of us have raging commitment Issues. Sometimes people don’t work. I’m from a split home. And the situations weren’t fun at all and only escalated the older I became. So this little one thinks relationships are a house of lies. Some of us can’t be stable in a relationship and we know that. Some others simply like to play. There is nothing wrong with any of these things. If you like to meet people and split once it becomes routine, good for you. If you want to pull out the wedding planner on the second date, good for you. We all go about relationships differently, but one thing that holds true for all is that you honestly never know if it’s something that will last forever.
I could list on and on things that could steer a person away from childhood. No matter what I say the end argument would be; you people are just selfish.
You know what, we are. We would rather take care of ourselves than another life because we can admit that we would most likely be no good at it. I can say to you dead in the eye, hell yeah I’d rather wake up one morning, quit my job, and go hiking in the mountains for a month than wake up and change a diaper.
For that exact reason I know I don’t want children. It takes a special person to be a parent. And even if I could drop everything and change to accommodate new life, I don’t want to. And that says enough. I think if you have flaws that you see getting in the way of you being a good parent, it’s amazing to admit, maybe it’s not for me.