Funny… I said, ‘I won’t have time to post much’. But here I am… updating often.
Actually.. I’m doing pretty well at managing my time and getting things done that I need to get done. Sure, I could be studying right now instead of this, but I’ve been studying already, so I realise it’s okay to take a break.
I woke up today with a sense that, I really need to be myself. It’s not a want anymore. It’s a need. I need to take chances. I need to make an ass of myself. I need to be unapologetic in the way I think and the opinions I have.
I realised today that everyone only cares about themselves so I guess my friend was right when they said I should do the same. I don’t want to crush peoples feelings. I don’t want to say I care but constantly let them down because “I’m more important to myself”. But I want to find a better balance between the two. Because what good am I doing myself? I’m a sad person… but it doesn’t mean I have to always suffer.
So I want to be stronger and live for myself. I want to speak my mind and not care about the opinions of others. I guess I shouldn’t say want… I should say need. Because I believe I will go to Japan soon. And if I can’t be myself here there is no way I will find my heart in Japan. That has been my dream. To find the heart that wasn’t born with me, but left under the falling petals of the sakura trees.
So. My name is Holly. I’m incurably plagued with sad thoughts about myself and the world. I don’t trust others but I love the warmth of hugs and cuddles and late night conversations. I like to dance in my underwear and dress up when I’m at home. I love taking pictures of myself for my blog and other social media outlets.I don’t believe in love but I have a strong passion to help others find it. I’m an empty shell but full of so many things. I want to experience this life.
(Photo inspired by Jen Agogo blog)
Underwear: Victoria’s Secret
Dress: Forever 21