5 a.m Christmas

I’ve woken up at 4 a.m on Christmas.
I’ve been a bit sad the past few days. But today I am grateful for everything despite how much I’m hurting.

As my house where I grew up sleeps soundly I’ve been pacing around restlessly.
It doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. There was nothing I could ask for this year, but I can see under the tree I’ve been given gifts.
There is nothing I could open that could replace the gifts I’ve been given this year. My heart hurts so incredibly much, but I can’t lie to myself anymore and say that no one cares. I don’t let anyone in… But so many people care.

I’ve snapped some 5 a.m photos. (I wish I had my other camera) My parents always leave the lights on all night before Christmas. It reminds me of being small.

Merry Christmas everyone. Remember to cherish those in your life.

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