Sleep

I keep rubbing my eyes.
They keep closing.
But they won’t stop opening.
Why won’t they just stay fucking closed?

The world is silent around me.
But my mind screams way too loud.
Which one do I listen to?
I nod off.

Why do I have to categorize myself?
Anxiety.
Why do I have to have a definition?
Mental Illness.

Why am I this person?
Why me?
Why can’t I just ignore the world as everyone else does?
Why

I just want to smile aimlessly.
Feel stupid for trusting everyone I meet.
I’m tired of thinking.
I knew it.

I’m tired of knowing that this is just a phase.
I’ll be back to ‘normal’ in a week or two.
I’ll smile and laugh.
And no one will ever know I was sad at all.

Even I’ll forget.
Until the next time.
Until anxiety.
Until my eyes won’t close again.

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