Library Thinking

おはよう!

It’s a lot easier to switch between Japanese and English on my Mac, which is a relief. I’ve had my Mac for two months now and I still don’t know how to work it. ^^ It runs horribly with my home internet so I don’t get to use it unless I’m on campus. But hey, it’s for school use anyway right?

This week has been full of exams/quizzes. Every single day has had a test of some sort! But now all the exams are over for now! Relief. I just finished a Culture exam about an hour or so ago. I got to study with some new friends last night, and that was really fun.

I am meeting a lot of very nice people lately. And actually stepping out of my comfort zone. I approached others to study! I feel so lame admitting my little self victories, but for someone like me who is so shy at talking with others, I think it’s okay to be happy.

I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I really can’t get over the complete difference in my college experience between studying what I thought others would be impressed by to studying what I really want. Before it seemed that every person I met wasn’t someone I could be friends with. I didn’t care to get to know them. But now studying Japanese, everyone seems so interesting.

I guess maybe most people who are interested in other countries are interesting anyway. There is just a different vibe to them. I especially love the exchange students. I hope that I will try to talk to them more. A lot of them are quiet and not so talkative like I am. You have to keep the conversation going, and that’s what people typically have to do for me, so I’m not used to initiating yet. But some of them love talking, and I love learning about what they like and find odd about American culture. One boy wrote on Facebook how he went to a tail gate party and couldn’t believe the kids party like the ones he’s seen on TV shows. He danced in public for the first time he said! It’s crazy to think how different places can be. When I learn these things, I wonder if when I go to Japan I might be even more weird than I feel here because I often dance a little randomly^^

I’m working really hard to get to Japan next year. I hope the work pays off. I’m really scared and nervous and doubtful some days that I won’t make it, or also that if I do, I won’t be strong enough in Japan. But I hope through out this year I will grow a lot. I feel I’ve learned a lot so far in just these two months. I struggle with many things still in my anxiety, but I think I’m doing a good job at not letting it hold me back from the things I really want. I’m constantly trying to challenge myself. I need to remember that effort on my down days.

But I am off to my next class of the day!

じゃあまった!

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