I don’t believe this is something I’ve talked about before, but I’m in a pickle now.
I’ve always been a person who has found it easier to be one of the boys. I have a boyish sarcastic sense of humour. Maybe it’s because my mom had a humour like that and I was mostly raised by my dad. Regardless, boys have always been more fun to be around for me. They don’t typically gossip about pointless things, they don’t worry about their make-up or take ten hours to get dressed up (usually). And it’s just more care free.
However, since coming to college I’ve done my best to steer clear of boys. My Freshman year I got into trouble having all guy friends. I had thought that I made good friends until I realised they were all either saying that I wanted to sleep with them or had slept with them. With a boyfriend at that time rumours like that are not something I needed so I cut ties with all of them. And since then I haven’t tried to make friends with boys or girls. It’s hard for me to trust people. Especially when I don’t know their intentions.
However, now I’m a single lass. Hooking up and dating are the very last, and I mean the deepest pit of the galaxy last, thing on my mind. No desires at all. But I am a girl, and boy company is nice. But whenever a guy tries to become a friend to me I instantly want to push them away. It feels wrong talking to them. Like they’re just going to turn out to be an ass. Or they are simply trying to befriend me for one reason only.
Of course I’m not saying all guys are like that. I know they aren’t. But in my experience so far in college that has been my case, so it’s all I know and what my gut sticks to. It kind of feels stupid to admit to others… But I felt like getting if off my chest.