Love and Other Drugs

I think I’ve used that title before… But that’s what love is, isn’t it? Just another drug? Just another something to mask the pain of living? People get addicted to all kinds of things. Alcohol, pills, self harm. I think love is also an addiction.

I’m writing this here simple because I want to convey my feelings. But it’s too personal for those who know me. It’s hard having all the same friends as your ex. I don’t want anyone to know how I really feel. Everyone thinks I’m mature and strong and brilliant. When really I’m just really damn good at wearing a mask.

It’s been four months, but it kind of feels like time hasn’t passed at all. I’m not here to complain about my ex. Truth is, he’s still my best friend. The start was hard, but now that boundaries are established we are perfectly fine.

However… I’m just empty. I miss the feeling of being held. That I guess is really the only thing a relationship is good for. Having someone to hold you when you need it. As of this point, I never want a relationship again. But it’s sad to not have a person to lean on.

I guess that’s all really.

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