Of course you know I haven’t been sleeping much of late, so I thought I’d spend some time talking you lot! I can’t believe 200 of you hang out with me now!
I feel like I’m going through a very weird change. YouTube and making videos I think is slowly starting to make me more comfortable being myself. I don’t really have subscribers or anything, but just making the videos for myself and editing them and seeing the outcome… I get to laugh at myself and see myself be happy. I think that’s encouraging. I don’t sit down enough and really look at what I’m doing for myself.
I’ve been a bit regretful the past few weeks. I moved to this city because my sister was here, my best friend was going to college here, and Shad was going to school here as well. I thought I’d follow what I knew instead of moving to California like I wanted. How different my life would be right now!
I was a little sad last night thinking that these next couple of years will be filled with so many good-byes. Now that I have no one to feel ashamed of leaving, I believe I want to study in Japan for an entire academic year! So I feel scared to leave my pets behind, and even Shad (we are very best friends still even if at moments it’s awkward and emotional.)
I don’t have any plans set in stone of course, but assuming that year abroad will be my last of school, I think I’d like to live in L.A or maybe Vegas for a year or two and just kind of hang out before getting a ‘real job’. If I’ve learned anything the past couple weeks it’s that I’ve never taken any time for myself. I always do what will benefit everyone in my life, never just myself. So I think I want to be selfish for once. I don’t want to let the thought ‘what if I never see so and so again’ hold me back. If things were meant to be, they’ll work out.
I know I talk about YouTube a lot lately, but truly guys, I’m in love with it. Every day that passes I get more and more ideas for videos. I have a whole list written out now! Of course when I film some they just aren’t good so I don’t upload them. But now I’m thinking of setting a schedule. Typically so far I just film, edit, and post as often as I can. But I think I want to get organized and do vlog style things for Mondays and my little silly films on Fridays. (Oh! Crazy idea: I don’t ever expect to reach this, but I decided if I ever make it to 100,000 subscribers on YouTube, I will dye my hair for the very first time in my life!) But I wont tell them that unless the time is near;3)
A twitter follower also suggested maybe doing some Sim games too. I’ve seen other Youtubers do them, so maybe I’ll do that for Tuesdays or something! We’ll see how much time I have when school begins. (But you all know I love to procrastinate!)
End of next month I’m also hoping to upgrade to a Macbook Pro. I hear the Macs have good editing on them, so I’m excited about that! I love my Dell, but she’s been going strong for about four or five years now and is starting to fall apart a bit and freeze more. My poor Bubbles<X3 (Yes, I named her.)
Also… I tried to do photos for you the other day of using one shirt for three different outfit styles, but I only liked two pictures from the same outfit… So I’ll try to do some things like that for you guys soon!
For not sleeping much I feel like I have massive motivation for all my internet viewers, so thank you all for giving me something to smile about!