The past couple of days the whole ‘single’ thing has been hitting me. Some moments I’m totally fine, then other moments I’m ‘holy crap!’. It seems nothing seems fun to do right now. I’ve been keeping myself busy with YouTube mostly. I like being able to make fun of myself and some situations. It really helps take the edge off. Feel free to check it out! https://www.youtube.com/user/cupoftee1000
On there you can find links to my Twitter and Instagram. I decided to open my instagram since I don’t post enough photos on my blog anymore. Once my desk area is finished, I hope to give you guys a bit of a tour on that.
Anywho.. back to the break up. I’m learning in the most blunt way that I need to make myself happy. Not that I would have probably ever made the choice to break up with Shad, at moments I feel a sense of relief that I can do as I please in the world now. While coping with my anxiety, sometimes it did feel hard to focus on what I wanted because I felt I was neglecting him. But now I see possibilities, such as now I can apply to study abroad for a whole year if I see fit. Or instead of jumping right into a career after college, maybe I’ll take a year of fun in Vegas or California.
Oh yeah, my financial aid went through so I can go to school! I was mixed about it. I had convinced myself that I wouldn’t be able to go, so I was kind of looking forward to saving up money and moving out of this city, but school is important to me for some reason, so I’m glad I have the chance to finish! (Especially since I haven’t been focusing on Japanese lately… It will force me back into it, which I’m happy about!)
I would like to sit down some time and write a bit on getting over break ups such as mine, but I feel like anytime I try to write about it, or make a video about it, I still get a bit sad and unmotivated. But I feel overall I have plenty good to say. It’s not as miserable as a lot of people make it out to be. It’s all in how you react to it honestly.
But hopefully I can talk about that next time.