I think perhaps tonight I’m in a gluten induced depression. Well not so bad as depression, but a little sad and thoughtful. (A friend came over today so I had too many slices of pizza….)
Facebook is depressing these days! I’m actually excited for school to begin to deactivate again. Everyone seems to have baby mommy or daddy dramas, loss of friends, death in families, and so much marriage! Which would normally be a happy thing, but it causes Shad to go on rants about some of his personal feelings, to where as I am simply ‘people can do what they want with their lives.’
I feel like I at least have a tendency to think no one feels things as strongly as I do. Perhaps I’m as bad as everyone else when it comes to thinking ‘my problems are the worst’. Lately I’ve been seeing posts from a girl that is friends with my step sister (they’re new Juniors in high school) going on about how her baby daddy sucks and how she is newly single and needs people to text/snapchat/hang out with. I’ve met her and she’s a very nice girl and I’m sure a good mommy for being young, but I can’t help but cringe when I think about all these kids today having their own kids.
I’m not seeing teens can’t be good parents! I’ve seen many teens be better parents than ‘adults’. But it seems, for the most part of what I encounter, these children are still too concerned about their own petty woes. Which of course I’ve seen adults do too. I think it takes very strong people to completely put themselves aside for their children, which is why I’m scared to have a babe of my own. Could I do that? But none-the-less, it disgusts me to see people so open about that stuff on the net. Why come off that you care more about getting a man than your baby? Or getting drunk with your friends? Of course you need to take time for yourself, but it’s not something that needs an update every ten minutes.
I remember being that age thinking ‘I thought these were supposed to be the best days of my life?’ But looking back, despite my home life at that time, I miss it. High school I feel is a joke in America. A big baby sitting place. At least mine was. So it was nice to put in half the effort and still get good grades while seeing my friends every day. And there was always something to look forward to on the weekend which helps you get through the week.
I suppose I’m just being a bit bitter. I feel all I have to look forward to anymore is more on my plate. I choose to not go out because I don’t want to be tired the next morning when I have to work. And the weekends have become work days too. I try to tell myself, it is worth it. But I have days like today where I just get a little gloomy about it. Especially knowing I’ll hopefully get a third job before the semester begins.
But I try to just think that it’s for Japan!
Sorry for my rant, but I said I would try to update more and be honest with everyone again! At least it’s almost July (holy crap!) and there will be a picture post soon!:3