Sleepless Nights

Essentially, I am alone.

Because I choose to be of course. It’s part of my nature. But the past week I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It’s not one of those things that I should focus my time on, but like everything else, it catches up. The past few days I had a best friend from high school come visit me. We shared a house with four other girls a few years ago, so of course they wanted to see her as well. Constantly running around I found myself very out of my element. I was thrown off my routine of yoga and Japanese and now that she has left I’m feeling a little…defeated?

It’s weird because I like being alone, but at times I can’t help feel a bit lonely. Yet, I typically don’t enjoy being around others because I don’t find most my age to be particularly entertaining. I get bored easily, then go home, then remember why I don’t like to go out in the first place. Until I feel lonely again. It’s a vicious cycle.

I feel a bit empty currently. I am hoping tomorrow I will fall back into routine. I purchased an intuos manga (though I shouldn’t have) to be able to illustrate the baby books I mentioned forever ago. I’m sooo bad at it! I have a whole new respect for digital artists. Luckily for me, baby books pictures are generally super basic, so for my first book, I’ll let my lack of pure talent slide and work on getting better!

I also hope to get back into a story I started a few years back. It’s something I can really only work on when I’m in these empty moods since the main character is a very broken person. I hope one day I’ll be able to actually end the story and create a version I’m happy with. (I’ve done six drafts so far). I’d love to publish a book one day just for fun! That’s why I’m doing the baby books too. I don’t expect to make any money. But it’d be so cool if I did!

And of course I definitely want back into yoga and some Japanese! I’ve been thinking about Japan a lot lately. Maybe I should stay off Twitter… Everyone I follow is either Japanese or a foreign youtuber living in Japan!

I feel a lot better after venting…

Oh, my puppy gave me a nice scratch on the face the other day! You can’t see it well here, but now it’s nice and scabbed over. I was always obsessed with injuries as a kid. So this actually makes me feel like a bad ass. I wonder what story I should joke around about at work tomorrow.

Thanks for venting with me! Nigh night:3

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