Scared to Change

Hello Everyone,

I really need to start taking more pictures again! I was looking through my blog last night, and I used to post so many pictures! I’ll do my best to start doing that again after this post:)

I guess for now I’m stressing about change. I can’t go into the details for privacy reasons, but in the next couple of weeks things are seriously going to change for me.

I’ve always thought; everyone leaves. No matter what I do, I will be left alone. It’s I guess something I’ve accepted for myself, but this time I want to make it a positive thing. As of today I have three jobs for the summer! The one I have in a biology lab, a weekend nursery job, and a daycare teacher position. The last one makes me nervous because it’s the one I actually need to learn and practice, but I have a hands on interview next week, and hopefully start training after. So I hope it goes well. The lead lady said she thinks it will be an amazing learning experience for me since I want to teach in Japan.

So I have those things to keep me busy, and though I’m terrified of over working myself and causing myself great anxiety again, I feel like I’m ready for the challenge. I want to save up money to study abroad, and of course rent next year! It’s not easy when your parents don’t help you out; as I’m sure many people know! The college struggle is real!

But in this time of growth for me, I’m worried of change. How much will I change? Will I learn that I can simply take care of myself? Will this lead me to wanting to be alone? I’m not sure… And if it’s one thing I do know; not knowing of change scares the hell out of me.

But I’m trying to stress about it! All I can do is do my best, and hope for the best!

Also, I posted a new video on my youtube; cupoftee1000; about “feeling different”. I’ll probably link here eventually, but if anyone wants to check it out it’s there for now.:)


Forever grateful of you guys<3

Hopefully photography soon!!


5 thoughts on “Scared to Change

    1. I guess I’m not 100% clear on what you’re asking. You should never just assume someone is hiding something. I feel like a lot of people can come off sad when they really aren’t. (I’m one of them.) Or if you know for sure, all you can really do is offer them support if they want it. If they’re ready or want to, they’ll open up to you.

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