Bar Crawls or Babies?

This topic is something I think about a lot. I’m not exactly referring to my attempt at a witty title, but as time passes and see all the people I grew up with getting married and having babies, I often wonder if I’m going to be left behind. Should people my age be doing these things, or should we be enjoying the glories of being of legal drinking age?

To be honest, there’s no right or wrong answer. It’s all a matter of opinion. For me I always feel complicated. I don’t partake in booze binges. I left that in my Freshmen year of college. I don’t go to the bar every weekend, and my social life is far from reality show worthy. 

So I wonder, am I wasting my youth? Then I wonder, am I really that young?

Shad will be turning 24 this coming week. And I’ll be 23 this year. I know… many of you are reading this going, “Seriously? You’re not even out of diapers yet!” But I know there was a time when you too thought grey hairs and walkers were coming way too soon.

I often think that at my age many women in my life had one or even two children by the time they were my age. My dad was Shad’s age when I was born. And so many of my peers have adorable little babies now as well at my age.

But babies are such a scary thing to me. I truly admire everyone who has undergone that journey. I think that pregnancy is one of my biggest fears in life. You never know how that little one is going to turn out. You simply just jump in head first hoping for the best.

Hoping you won’t do the things you hated about your parents. Hoping you’re child never feels the negative things you may have. Hoping to God that your own baby isn’t somehow traumatized emotionally by something you did or said, or maybe didn’t do.

I don’t want to have to apologize and explain my reasons to my baby when they’re in their 20’s. I don’t want to have to tell them I loved them the whole time and I’m sorry for my selfish mistakes.

So I guess when it comes to babies, I really never will be ready. I simply hope that when it happens, I really can say honestly that I did my best, and no matter what, baby knows that too.


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