神様,どうして私は違うのですか?

“God, why am I different?”

I suppose lately I have been struggling. I have a lot of doubt for everything in my life right now, and it’s making things a little complicated and tiring for me. So last night I had a little break down. If you guys watched my substance abuse video, you know someone very close to me, “Corey”, went to rehab. I’ve been meaning to do an update, so you’ll get a little info here.

I called “Corey” last night, as we still talk and snapchat all the time now. We’ve been going through our personal struggles very closely since they went away. We want to offer each other the best support as we always have. I said to “Corey”, “I feel like I have so much I need to say, I just don’t have anyone to talk to.”

I think we all experience that. We have so much on our minds, but it never seems anyone will actually be able to understand. I’m the person people go to for advice, so typically when I need to express my emotions, I’m not offered the chance. I don’t even like opening up to the ones that are close to me, but even secretive people like myself have the urge to talk sometimes.

“Corey” told me that I should talk to God. I’m not very religious. And I don’t like to express my personal beliefs on the internet because nothing good ever comes from that. I believe everyone should believe in whatever they choose. If someone told my they worshiped a pillow case, I might think that’s odd, but if that’s what brings happiness into their life, I would never cut them down for it.

“Corey” I would have to say knows me the best in this world. We think almost the same, and typically our feelings are the same as well. So I thought today, what would everyone ask God if they were given the chance?

But then I wonder, do any of us really want those kinds of answers?

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2 thoughts on “神様,どうして私は違うのですか?

  1. As a Scorpio we internalize everything. I consider it a blessing and a curse. It makes us stronger but at the same time can wear us down to the point of almost breaking. I wish I could say that it goes away but as a 43 year old Scorpio, it doesn’t. I think “Corey” has a good idea. Everyone has there own version of what their God looks like to them. So you can make your God look like anything or anyone you want. Pick an image that is comforting to you and picture that in your mind and just talk. Have you ever thought about trying meditation?

    1. Love meditation! I took a class last semester and just started getting back into it. Mostly sleep meditation at night for now since I have such a problem sleeping. I’m hoping to get into yoga as a morning thing. I’m wanting to set up sturdy routines for myself to help ease my uneasiness.

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