Have I posted this year yet? If not HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope everyone has had an amazing break and that students especially enjoy this weekend before the new semester begins.
My break went pretty well; but I’m writing this on the topic of the one thing that’s been bugging me. Anxiety! I always feel like my anxiety is out of the blue. But I guess I don’t really realize all of the stress that I put on myself. I’m worried about “Corey” in rehab. I’m worried about the future. I’m worried about not being a good puppy mommy. I’m stressed about money. And I’ve begun trying to plan my life to impress others again.
I would love teenagers and even 20 somethings like myself to please always remember; don’t base your life on the thoughts of others! It’s okay to want to be liked, but don’t make yourself unhappy to make everyone like you. It just wont happen! Be happy for you and the people that deserve to be in your life will slowly fall into place.
As a part of my resolutions for 2014, staying off of social media is my top goal. I would still like to check in and see how everyone I care about is doing, but I don’t want to feel like my life revolves around constantly checking up on others. I want to focus on myself.
I haven’t been doing the best of job, but I’m not constantly glued to the screen either. Generally instead of spending say 20 minutes on a site, I do a few minute scroll through and leave. This has given me more time and more of an urge to write my short story and draw.
I drew this today;
I meant for it to stand for the quote I hear from my younger sister; “Exhale the bullshit”. But once I actually took a second to look at what I was creating, I realized I had drawn a picture of all of my insecurities. Each word is something I have been personally called or have thought about myself. It really hit me looking at these words over and over again, I’m holding myself back.
These things I’ve been called, these ways I have felt… They aren’t important. They aren’t things to hold on to.
I know myself, and I know I will always remember these feelings, but my goal is to not let them control me.
So I’d say I’m not following the whole “New Year, New Me” mentality.
Instead, it’s a new year, and I want to be the true me. I don’t want to hide behind my insecurities. I want my insecurities to shine with me. They are apart of me. They make me who I am. They aren’t there to hold me back. They’re there so I can remember who I am, and how strong I’ve been.
Stay strong everyone.