I’m visiting my home town for a few days to finish up some financial aid requirements and escape my daily life in my college city. Every time I visit home I can’t help but get nostalgia.
I never once thought I’d miss high school, but as I wandered the dark streets, passing some of the places that hold the most memories, I can’t help but look back and wish I would have made the most of it.
It’s only been three years since graduation, yet so much has changed. It’s discouraging… As I wrote before, my class was friendly, but were we all really friends? I’m not sure. All I know is life moves on.
When I visit home I always expect things to just pick up where they left off. Any friend in town will want to get together and catch up and re-live old times. But that’s not the case with my class. Most of us have significant others we’d rather entertain. Some only wish to be with their 3 or 4 close knit friends. It’s hard to accept that the people you grew up with, that you saw almost every day seem to have just forgotten you in away that you can’t forget them.
But you can’t hold a grudge on them. They are doing what you’re supposed to do in life. Move forward.
However, I can’t really escape the truth of missing everyone. The girls who thought they were too cool. My closest girl friends. The boys I could turn to for anything. And even the people who disliked me for not even knowing me. I miss them all and the simplicity of those times.
I miss passing notes in class. I miss having silly crushes on upperclassmen. I miss the inside jokes. I miss the confusion. I miss sticking it to my parents on the weekends. Thinking I had it all figured out. Believing there was so much more.
But at the same time, I want to apply these feelings to my future. I want to try my best. I’ve given up hope of finding those life long friendships. I can’t expect that from people when I can’t find it in myself to believe that things like that exist.
But still, even if no one is there for me…I want to be there for others.
I want to be stronger and believe in a better tomorrow.