Random Memories

I posted some of this on my facebook, but I decided to put it here, because who on facebook cares about what others have to say?

My grandfather died my freshman year of college. Only two days before I was supposed to come home for the Summer and see him. With out going into too much detail I will just say that my grandpa had made mistakes in his life. Ones that he had to pay for until the end. I never thought this was fair. I’m awful when I know someone is going to die. I don’t want to be around them because I don’t want to cry in front of them. But I wanted to let my grandpa know I loved him. I wanted to ask his permission also if I could have and fix up his old car. I never got that chance…The car was still given to me, but honestly I feel bad getting something just because someone passed away. That’s not how I wanted it. I wanted to ASK. I wanted HIS permission. I can’t stand the way family hovers over a dying family member planning what will be theirs. It makes me sick. But with father’s day coming up, I was thinking of my dad, and also my grandpa.

FB Post:
I hated this day, but I love this picture so much because my gramps was really happy. When I was a little kid I never wanted anyone to be alone. Which is why when my parents divorced and I didn’t understand what was happening I chose to stay with my dad because I didn’t want him to be alone like grandpa. I learned from my grandpa that every one makes mistakes. Parents make the biggest ones. And they have to live their whole life with regret, but still try and believe that they were right. Despite what others do to me, I try my best to pretend that I forget, so I won’t burden them the way they have burdened me. “There comes a time when children must protect their parents, despite their deepest feelings.” I believe that. With out him knowing I’ve learned the biggest lessons from my grandpa despite being so young. I’ll always regret never telling him that. And I hope whatever new life you have, you’ll have love, and you’ll wear this smile every day.




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