Mid-Week Chatty

Hi everyone!

Currently I’m taking a break from homework. Don’t worry, it’s not procrastination! I’m actually working ahead in my online course. I’d like to finish it asap so I don’t have to worry about it. So I’m hoping to do a chapter or two every night until it’s done.

My Japanese class has Exams next week! I’m pretty excited though. It’s just lesson one, and I read that lesson probably three times over the summer. I’m more concerned when we get to verbs in lesson 3. However… tragically I heard one of the students talking about his father passing away. He was absent all last week for that reason, and it’s clear he’s trying so hard to catch up. I had massive anxiety yesterday (due to eating habits I think for the past week) and ended up crying in the bathroom. But then I thought about how he comes to class every day and jokes and smiles as much as he can despite what’s happened. I know if I lost my dad, I wouldn’t be able to cope with school at all. So I pulled it together because some people have ‘real’ problems. Not that anxiety isn’t a real thing, but I’m the type to always belittle my problems compared to others. It helps me not be baby I think about my anxiety. So I reached out to him and offered to study with him Friday in hopes he will perform well on the exam. The sensei is also working well with him, so I hope he does well!

My other classes are picking up too. I’ve been sick this week, so this weekend I will need to review a lot since I was spacy in class on Tuesday. But I’m confident still that I will do well this semester. Keep wishing me luck!

This weekend I’m hoping to put together a little more complicated project for youtube. I want to work with cloning. Still a silly video, but I hope to do more complex editing. So I hope that will go well!

Until next time^^

More Pictures!

Since I got ahead in my Health class last weekend, I didn’t have any work to do today for that, so I had some time to play around. It’s getting cool now, so helloooo socks! I will also be uploading a video about advice for dealing with an ex soon. (youtube: cupoftee1000)

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Quick Update!

Hello All!

I’m a little frustrated I never get to post much anymore:( I hope you all understand! I’m so incredibly busy with school and preparing/learning about trying to study abroad. But it’s a good busy:)

I’m actually really surprised I don’t feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel annoyance, but to be honest, when I do have a moment to just lie down and try to catch up on a show, I’m bored after five minutes. I really love what I’m doing right now. It’s so crazy to actually like college. Up until now I dreaded homework and always would rather just sit on my butt doing nothing. But now I love going through all these books and papers, and getting flustered trying to figure out answers.

It’s only the second week, but I’ve already had a couple quizzes, a presentation, and a test. I’ve gotten 100% on everything so far! I’m hoping I can 4.0 every class. So please send me luck through out the semester in case things get more crazy! Tomorrow I get to attend a Japan Club meeting. I’m hoping to make friends with the Japanese exchange students this way. But I’m shy… so again, wish me luck!:)

I started a youtube channel separate from my random videos where I talk about school. I’ll try to post those videos here too so you can keep up if you want! The channel is called Nihon Ai (In Japanese kanji) if you want to look it up for yourself. I’m hoping I will be abroad in Japan next year and I can vlog and really start informing people about Japan, instead of just talking about my struggles and stuff now. But I think the videos will be fun to look back on. ^^

I also have some photos I’m hoping to upload for you guys this weekend of some cool fire poi! I love trying to photograph poi because it’s really hard for me. I honestly don’t know how to work my camera to it’s full potential I’m sure. And it’s always a surprise what patterns will get captured. I’m also supposed to work on a fire poi film with a friend to help him book some jobs, so look forward to that too on youtube! Sounds so cool to have project!

Hope all of you are doing well in your lives as well<3

What A Week!

Hello All!

This was the first week of classes and my first week as a Japanese major! And holy moly was it crazy emotionally!

At the start of the week I was very full of anxiety, stress, and sadness. I was so overwhelmed. It took me a few days to figure out why, but I realized that I was scared. I am so scared of failing. Before college never was a big deal to me because I wasn’t even doing what I wanted. I was simply focused on gettingĀ  a Biology degree to make my family impressed with me. I didn’t care about my grades as long as I passed and I was just trying to kill time until it was all over. But now I’m doing something I’ve wanted since I was a little one. And I don’t want to let myself down. It’s challenging right now to realize I have to put a lot of work into it since I’ve never committed myself before. But I think I enjoy it.

I loooove my language class! I, yes me, actually started a study group! It was by accident… but I haven’t felt like a ‘leader’ since elementary school when I had confidence in myself. So it was a huge moment really. I even signed up to join a Japan club on campus. So I really am I trying my best to be more comfortable with myself.

I did however have to quit one of my jobs. It turns out I have a lot of reading and things I must do on my own and there simply was not enough time in the day. I was getting up at 5 a.m most days (if I even slept) and by the time I got home around 6 I would just crash out. I was already exhausted. I always feel miserable about quitting things. I feel like I should be able to handle it all so I hate when I can’t. But school is my number one priority. And once I found out about Japan club, I was excited to have more time to commit to my passion. Extra money is nice… but it really isn’t everything.

I feel refreshed today after a huge storm last night. I slept well, woke up early (compared to usual) and have already passed two hours working on course work. Right now I’m on break;)

I’m feeling really good about this year. This week was just testing the waters, so now I am hoping in the next couple weeks I can get a good routine going that also allows me to go to the gym and eat better as well.

love you all<3